Le Weekend Pt I

I managed to get to Worcester on Saturday for my friend Jeff's 40th Birthday.
Jeff is an old biker chum - and I bumped into bods I knew from the days of when I charged about Ascot on a 125cc bike and was involved with MAG - Motorcycle Action Group. It had been at least 10 years since I had seen some of these fellows, and it was very pleasant - despite the 2 hour drive.
Jeff is a somewhat peculiar fellow. He has pretensions to sexual deviancy and transvestism - neither of which I hold against him
On arrival he greeted me - and I presented him with a bottle of Pink Champagne.
'PINK champagne?' he said.
'I was hoping it would match your shoes'.
He chuckled, then paused.
'Let me show you this.....' he said with a knowing leer....
He started to lead me up his garden path to cat calls and cheers from the assembled crowd - who resembled a Biker reunion.
We reached his garden shed with a door marked 'Gents'.
'Check this out!'
The door opened to a tool shed with a white net curtain covering the tools and a chemical cassette toilet - the sort one finds on narrow boats.
The shed not only had a chemical loo - but a large rusty wire brush on a small table, a drill with sanding attachment, several sheets of sandpaper and an old gas bottle resprayed and labelled 'Industrial-air-freshener.'
'Behold, My Shed!'
I paused as i beheld the magnificence laid before me.
'Cottaging for the home, Jeff.'
'Absolutely - with hi-grade cleansing materials.'
'I expect your gusset to be lemon fresh, old boy.'
'It will be.'
'Is it fully functioning ? The facilities, not your gusset of course.....'
'Absolutely!'
'I salute your temerity - and I give joy to you for your lavatorial ingenuity!'
'Beer?'
'Yes, well may as well get a head of pressure before one has to oblige this place.'
'Good man!'
He may be 40 - but Jeff is, at heart, still a schoolboy.

Just like the rest of us.