Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Chap's Vacation

At last!
I have finally organised something approaching a summer holiday for myself.
Details, are of course at this stage, highly classified. However it can be certain to contain the following 'features':
Lording it up over grateful natives
Lantern Jawed Determination on the High Seas
Sweltering in desert-like heat
Eating food as yet unknown to man.

As it is likely to be both South and East of Gibraltar, I will be required to dig out my Tropical Kit.
Sandals - whilst normally the preserve of fundamentalist Christians and Hirsute Environmentalists - will be certainly be de-rigeur at least for day wear.

However - standards being what they are - one should dress appropriately for functions at the local High Commission, dinners with the obsequious mayor, negotiations with the Pasha Bey or leading the local rebels to the latest Coup d'etat.
(Point worthy of note here to my more political readers - one attends these things in the station to which one is naturally appointed - not brandishing pitchforks nor toting the requisite AK47 but Genteelly trotting up to the front of the line aloft one's white charger and issuing one's demands to El Presidente in perfect RP English: 'I'm sorry Old Chap, game's up - the lads here have taken the TV station and want your head on a plate - If I were you old son, I'd leave the Krugerand, take the memsahib and scarper - for they grow fractious by the minute...)

This calls for pristine starched whites, tan sam-browne, tan Brogues and my finest tropical Pith Helmet. the Nile medal and the Chelengk always impresses the local pashas as well.

I have already sent them off to the laundry for extra pressing and have selected my Steward for the Voyage.
More updates to follow. Have already started re-reading The Ionian Mission for inspiration.

No comments: