Friday, February 02, 2007

I'd wager you a ha'penny bun to a pound of dried bananas....

Dear reader, as you know, we find ourselves in ever benighted times. Now as much as it brings joy to me that yet another socialist administration is on the ropes - I have to temper the desire to dance a jig, as their end is not yet nigh.

So - I must content myself with the ongoing tweaking of the nose of Nanny, statists, lefties, the so called liberal media progressive consensus, the subsidariat and their toadies of all forms.
I urge you dear reader to do the same.

'But how?' I hear you clamour…
Well chaps and chapesses across the land must rise to the challenge and confront the perils of being told how to wash our hands, what vegetables to eat and their spouting of their variegated 'me too' pseudo populist claptrap.

Now these types are tricky to confound, as they cloak themselves in veneers of smug superiority on the grounds that they odious ideas are good ones.
How do I do it? Humour, at their expense.

A recent example.

As you know I am plagued with the current need to work for living. This is largely because I would rather spend my time tinkering with engines, flying a motorless aeroplane, sailing into Cowes for a jug of Pimms and I am afraid that these things cost pennies.
This unfortunately brings one into contact with all manner of unsavoury types some of which despite joining the productive part of the economy still act as though they are part of some people's revolutionary front. One in particular thinks it makes her popular. (She reads the Independent and the Grauniad - need I illustrate more?)
A coffee machine (I know, grisly thought) conversation travelled as thus - she was busily waxing lyrical that the new casinos shouldn't be 'allowed'.
'Oh', says I, 'why not?'
'Because people will get addicted to gambling, and they need to be stopped'.
Oh-ho methinks Nannyism at work….time for a feint to the northwest I reckon…..
'But what about the controls that whassherface is talking about? They seem frightfully well structured'
'Not far enough! These things will only encourage people to become further in debt!'
…..Ah I muse, like artificially low interest rates, easy bankruptcies and the welfarism of the modern age doesn't….
'Well I reckon people aren't affected by such things, you know' quothe I, building up to a punch line…..
'Of course they are, everyone knows that!' …..Coffee table points of view again….
'Goodness - would you?'
'No - I know better…'
'Really? Well, I bet you a fiver you are…'

There was a delicious pause when she realised I was tweaking her nose

'That's not funny!'

Actually I think it is. Damn chit has no sense of humour, but then Lefties rarely do. One up for me I reckons.

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