Those readers with a keen eye will recognise my avatar. His name Is Group Captain Lionel Mandrake - and he locked horns with a Colonel 'Bat' Guano, and subsequently recalled most of the B52s in 'Doctor Strangelove' - one of the towering genius that is Kubrick's greatest movies.
Now - truth be told my leanings are somewhat nautical rather than one of the Spitfire johnnies. Those of us in the know realise that whilst the credit of the 'Battle of Britain' went to the RAF - Goering was quoted as saying that even without the RAF - trying to cross the channel - even with air supremacy in the face of the World's most powerful navy - would be 'sailing into a mincing machine'.
However - it is their day. The RAF was founded 90 years ago.
Gawd bless 'em.
Ironic that it is their birthday on April Fools' day.
Well known fact: If you learn to fly with the RAF - and then join the Fleet Air Arm - it is said you need to learn all over again. At least over land you have roads to follow to get you home.
Now, this chap both flies and sails - both of which he enjoys -but truth be told, whilst the Navy has traditions, the Army (Pongos) have standards, while the RAF (crabs) have bad habits.
However - interservice rivalry aside - faced with a decrepit and failing Marxist regime in this country we ought to stand by the RAF. They are starved of funds, decent aircraft and kit - like the Army and the Senior Service.
I know they all go home for their dinner - unlike all the other services. I know they spent 92% of every conflict they claim credit for - sitting in deck-chairs or playing footie at their dispersal -and I know that they got all the girls in the last big show - and have a reputation for outrageous facial hair - but we are all in the same pond.
Until such a time as we have a proper amphibious and littoral forces, we will have to rely on them. They have to make do with an aircraft designed by an Italian committee and leftover Comets. Just as the socialists have cut back on the Typhoon, 'leased' the tankers, denied them decent bombers, AWACS and the like - the chances of us ever getting the JSF for the raptor plus proper fleet carriers with catapults are pretty slim - while this lot have to keep employing 5-a-day fruit and vegetable coordinators to prop up their client votes.
So, despite the fact they are one tenth of the age of the Navy and one fifth of that of the Army - they are just about growing up.
Well done chaps. Remember - treat your woman like you treat your 'Kite' - jump in her seven times a day and take her to heaven and back - and no, not the Gay Club.
PS: Only the most craven knicker wetting liberal or self hating Marxist poltroon would not be stirred by the sight of the Red Arrows or the Battle of Britain Historic flight - I have flown alongside the Lanc in my glider - he waggled his wings at me and I nearly wept.
It will upset a RAF officer to a point of apoplexy by suggesting the New Typhoon is a Copy of a Mirage 2.