Thursday, November 01, 2007

School-boy error

One of the joys of having Donna-Da-Lodga in the house is the fresh perspective she brings to my outlook - and the provision of fresh material for this blog.

I had been plotting a post about the schadenfreude I had enjoyed on hearing news of the Former Miss Chap In Residence and the hard times that had befallen her despite the pot of treasure she took off me - and some rather juicy speculation about the grisly nature of the rendition that is being exacted on her frame and fibre for the charity she currently receives.

However, discretion and good taste led me to think twice. So unbloggied I was expecting a quiet evening at home.
Instead I was greeted by the DDL in full flood of vigorous activity - doing house work, and house work with notable alacrity. Not only was she cooking dinner for the following evening, but hoovering, washing bedding, sweeping the lounge and setting about the bathroom with some vigour.

She was clearly due to entertain a visitor, one she wished to impress.
As I have so far been unable to employ a coolie for my domestic engineering I thought it useful to encourage these visits, provided they are well mannered, clean and show due deference.
So in a spirit of lively enquiry I thought it appropriate to ask about this chap who was coming to entertain her.

'You're not allowed to test him' she stated with a slight smile, and a refusal to make eye contact.

'Test, my dear?' Have I ever tested anyone who has come round that you dared to introduce to me? Anyway - should I find him wanting in areas then if he is put to the Inquiry?'

'Well, he's not like 'J'.'
That chap was affable, grown up, intelligent and pleasant. I found him good company.

A thought popped into my brain.

'Donna, how old is he?'

'I'm not telling you.' even less eye contact, more fidgeting.

'He's a lot younger than you, isn't he.' (Obviously - but how young?)


'Go on. '

'He's 21.' (Ye gods. Barely out of short trousers.)

A moment's reflection considered that he probably wouldn't even notice the work she had done and would probably even pee on the toilet seat. But as the net effect was that I had no domestic engineering backlog to attend to, I thought I would keep schtumm.

A pause. Almost entirely for effect.

'Has he got a note from his mum then?'


'Staying out all night with a strange lady.'
Unprintable response.

I assume they will be staying in watching cartoons, drinking sunny delight and eating monster munch. Or whatever it is 'Yoof' do today.

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